"Mommy! You are so beautiful it makes me want to cry."

Two beautiful ladies

A while back Erin came upon an excellent blog written by a mother about how she was “ruining” her daughter. I looked for it in order to provide a link but I can’t find it. The point of the blog was that the mother had a revelation that her daughter really believes she is the most beautiful woman in the world. Therefore whenever she said something negative about her own looks she was inadvertently “teaching” her daughter that even the most beautiful woman in the world is not beautiful enough. This would undoubtedly result in the daughter not thinking she was beautiful enough either.

Every time she looked in the mirror and said something negative about herself or whenever she disagreed with someone’s compliments, she was sending a message to her little girl: “Even mommy isn’t really beautiful so you must not be either”.

Malia says the most amazing things to Erin about Erin’s appearance! One of the best was when Malia and Erin were playing alone in Malia’s room. Malia looked at Erin and said “Mommy, you are so beautiful sometimes it makes me want to cry!” Talk about melting your heart!! She has complimented Erin’s body, body parts, and her face a lot. Erin needs to realize as well, that Malia really means these things and believes them. Erin must not criticize her own looks in order to affirm to Malia that “Yes, mommy is beautiful and so are you!”

Yet, Malia will also say the funniest and "totally rude for an adult" things to Erin about her looks. “Mommy, your belly is so big and squishy. It is like there is another baby inside it.” HILARIOUS!! But talk about a reality check from the “so beautiful I want to cry” comment. But that is just it! To Malia these two things DO NOT cancel each other out. Mommy is so beautiful and her belly is so squishy! Both can exist at the same time and both still be true in Malia's world.

Erin and I came to a revelation. The world defines beauty according to certain standards. Malia defines beauty according to relationship. Mommy is beautiful. Why? Because she is my mommy. I think that is how Jesus defines beauty too – according to His relationship to us. We are His children and we are beautiful. We may have flaws here and there, or even squishy bellies, but that does not contradict or cancel out the beauty He sees! Both are true at the same time in His world, and that means our world too. 

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